Halfway through my first PhD course, it dawned on me: I’m happy. Brow deep in research, writing, editing, coaching, and planning strategy, I am genuinely, for the first time in a long time, happy.
In truth, I was not certain that I would ever reach this pinnacle. If I really search my soul, I doubt that I have ever been truly happy. I cannot really explain this newfound giddiness, only that after months of reconciling my spiritual convictions with my material ones, which came at the cost of driving my neurodivergent coach crazy for weeks, I let go and yes, let God in.
Arguing with God regarding the slow, and sometimes backward, slide of accomplishing the financial goals I set for myself five years ago put me in a funk. There’s nothing like setting a target and watching the divine set flame to it. Bundle that with the health challenges, diagnosis, Aiden’s tumor, car trouble, house repairs…do I need to go on?
The adage of “Man plans and God laughs” became my tagline; worry and anxiety, my best friends. When you spin on the mental hamster wheel of what-if doom, the struggle and exhaustion become very real.
Happiness gets sucked out of our souls because this world expects us to focus on the future rather than live in the here and now, and I have been letting the happiness sucker win. Sounding like a spoiled four-year-old, I peppered my coach with a litany of “why why whys,” expecting him to solve my happiness quotient. I sensed he wanted to accommodate me, and at the end of our session, he got it.
“Mia, can you find one thing every day that motivates you to get out of bed and be happy?”
Say what?
It sounded so simple. Happiness, my happy quotient, is up to me. A simple concept, yes, but a tactical implementation nightmare.
I agreed to take it for a test drive. I got up, picked a happy focal point, and made that my goal for the day. Then, the next day and the next, until eventually, it was a business-as-usual action that slowly, over time, shifted my mindset from one of grumpy apathy to deliberate glee.
It’s not forcing happiness but setting a daily goal of finding one happy day target. Being a goal-oriented, driven person, I am motivated to make that happen. Want to be happier? Find that one thing and set a goal to make your happy happen every day.