Time can be both a thief and a giver. Depending on circumstances, and variables within them, time can be an asset or an enemy. We all have a love-hate relationship with the clock.
I have a propensity to move quickly; do things fast and move on to the next task. My brain, wired for speed, wants to move through things and check them off my to-do list. There’s no time to waste, and lists do not get done all by themselves.
Aiden, my Huskamute canine companion, has taught me a lot of things about life, love, and loyalty. As he and his brother Lyncoln age, I have come to learn the true definition of commitment and unconditional love, not only for them but for myself.
When Aiden became ill, soon after my ASD diagnosis, I realized that something had to change. Time, shortened for one of us, was no longer a competitor, but an ally in preserving quality and quantity of what we have left together.
We cannot always count on other people, but we can always rely on ourselves. Taking care of my aging pack has provided me with resilience, determination, and a loving spirit to see them through it all with dedication. I am embracing every day I have left with them, and I schedule my life around their needs. Silly? Perhaps. They are just dogs to some, but to me, they are my best friends, my security blankets, and my family. Their needs often come before mine and that’s OK by me.
In this evolutionary process, I am relearning how to slow down, take better care of myself, and shed the to-do list; OK—not the full list—but I have gotten better and am keeping it realistic. I also make better use of my time, giving it only to those people, activities, and situations that reciprocate; no more one-sided endeavors for me. It is liberating, being free from doing things with or for people and situations that only take. Do not get me wrong, there are times when giving without expectation of a return is required, and equally fulfilling, but what is not necessary is to give to the selfish with agendas and no good in their hearts.
Resilience is a gift, not a welcome one but a needed one. Funny though, someone who is charged with making the world a more resilient place struggles with being personally resilient.
Becoming resilient is not about avoiding disasters, crises, or disappointments; rather it is about living through those things and recovering happiness and stability on the other side of them.
Like most of us, my life has been filled with difficulties, pain, and pleasure, but despite the challenges I currently face, this past year, I have felt more contentment than any other time in my life.
My pace, while slower, is filled with friends I love, monthly farmer’s markets visits, small business shopping adventures, personal and spiritual development, and of course, copious time with my two boys watching T.V. and sharing snacks.
No one gets to define your happiness but you. Some things are not meant to be shared with the world because they are sacred, private, and should only be conversations held with people who value, respect, and protect you and your privacy.
If there is something, or someone, who makes you happy, keep it to yourself until you are ready to share the good news and story of that happiness to help another find theirs.