The internet is currently ablaze with the very public outing of a CEO who was caught behaving badly in a very open forum.
When discovered, the executive issued a half-baked apology that seemingly blamed others for invading his private (affair) moment and exploiting his personal business.
Like the rest of social network society, I initially laughed at the video, then gasped at the cascading tidal wave that hit everyone connected to the exposure, including the poor employee who purchased the tickets as part of a corporate event.
The reverberating blowback of memes, mock videos, and late-night television satire is almost certainly a painful extension of the betrayal for the executive’s family and close circle of friends.
We all make mistakes. Some are bigger than others. Many cannot be repaired, and some cause permanent, unforgiving wounds that will not completely heal. Each situation is different, and only those involved can truly sift through the rubble to determine if there is something salvageable from the disaster.
Whether it’s age or maturity, at some point, most of us choose to grow up and grow out of these types of malignant behavioral patterns while others simply embrace them as entitlements or aging rites of passage. The problem with self-centric toxicity is that others get hurt.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not suggesting from a throne upon high that I’ve never screwed up or exited a relationship (friendship, job, partnership) in an impulsive, that’s-it manner. Rather, as I read the follow-up articles after the “kissgate” cam incident of 2025, I reflected on how I have personally evolved and came to terms with ripping off the Band-aid, compassionately and authentically as next level grown-up behavior to aspire toward.
At the end of a decade-long situationship, after years of no longer wanting to be in it, something switched. I didn’t want the heaviness that came with being with an inequitably yoked, mismatched pairing. Over time, I had lost myself, adopted what I called a “burlap bag” fashion style, and let my hair grow uncontrollably while I gave my body permission to expand beyond its boundaries. In summary, I was miserable and knew upsetting someone else’s bliss would emotionally haunt me, but it needed to be done.
Slowly, I started quietly making changes. I cut six or more inches from my hair; I changed jobs and doubled my salary so I wouldn’t worry about taking care of myself, and I began making physical changes to my health and well-being. When it was finally the end of the line, I announced it was over. No explanation, no opportunity for reversal, no negotiation. There was no need to rehash old narratives or talk about how to fix things. Those conversational opportunities were in the (wayback) past and there was no reason to discuss it (for the fifth time).
With much courtesy and respect, I navigated what I believed to be an amicable break-up. It was only when I started to date again that I realized just how viral my ex could be. Rumors and verbal attacks were made against me, and I had to hear it from various sources: family, friends, acquaintances.
Rather than respond in kind, I lifted him up and applauded his good qualities while overlooking the bad ones. However, in time, I found significant evidence of the contrary, which served to both disappoint me and validate my decision to break free.
I could not control what he did and said, but I could control my response. While I admit that part of my decision to move on was based on something I started to notice; other people noticing me, it was not the rationale for my decision. Rather, I no longer knew who I was, and being with this person only made me more of a stranger to myself. New people seemed to know me better than I did.
Sometimes, we must walk away from things that aren’t working anymore, even if it’s only temporary or to allow an extended period of growth and transformation. However, the way we walk away speaks volumes.
Most of us never want to hurt anyone. Many times, this is why we resist or delay in doing what needs to be done. However, hurt and sorrow are going to come regardless of how we deliver it, but the delivery is still so important.
- Have you grown apart? Be ready and able to articulate that and how it has changed your feelings.
- Do you want to be free of a committed partnership, marriage, or other situation to be more independent and available to date (or whatever) whoever you want? Own that and be honest about it.
- Candidly, just fall out of emotional connection with your partner. Tell it like it is with kindness.
- Fights, disagreements, and sleepless nights become more frequent, and your happy days become fewer and further apart. Give examples and speak directly about how those things are not sustainable for a long-term satisfactory situation.
Ghosting, projecting, and lighting up the relationship with the torch of a new third party (or more than one—yes I’m judging) is never a good look and rarely leads to resurrection or restoration of the relationship if you grow up and change your mind down the road. For those couples who do patch up things, it’s a long, hard slog and the recovery process is very painful, rehashing old stories and excuses.
Will your partner understand if you want to decouple with kindness? Not always. Does this approach prevent your S.O. from tanking your reputation or making up gossip? Nope, read my personal example. Can you avoid being cussed out or told you suck as a human being? Hmm…that depends on the receptor, however, what you can count on is that you and your soul will be well with how you handled yourself. Eventually, hopefully, down the road, your ex will realize that you did the best you could to address a crappy topic in the best possible manner.
Trust me, your reputation, and your conscious will thank you for it, even if your ex doesn’t.